Are You a Proverbs 31 Man?

As Mother's Day was approaching I began to think about the Proverbs 31 woman. I remember as a single Christian man it was my hope and prayer that God would bring me a Proverbs 31 woman to marry. I believe that most single Christian men would say that their hope and prayer would be the same as mine. After meeting the woman that would be my wife I remember having a conversation with her about the Proverbs 31 woman. She said that this was a very hard and sometimes impossible standard for single Christian women to be gauged by. This made me curious so I began to ask different women their thoughts on living up to or being compared to the Proverbs 31 woman. I discovered most of the answers were aligned with the comments of my wife. As I read Proverbs 31 a question began to develop, “Am I a Proverbs 31 man?” I know what you're thinking, “How did you come up with that question?” Especially since this is a Proverbs that has always been connected, and directed to women. This Proverbs has been preached and will continue to be preached on Mother's Day for years. So how would I come up with a question like this? I believe the answer to this is obvious once you begin to really look at the passages. Proverbs 31, beginning with verse 1: “The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him.” In this verse we see words of wisdom and/or instruction from a mother to her son. In verse 2 we see the providence of who he is; "my son", "of my womb", "of my vows". Verse 3 reads "do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy Kings." In the day that this advice was passed on it was common practice for kings to have multiple wives and concubines. What the mother was advising her son to avoid was participating in adulterous activities that would take away his strength or the ability to rule wisely as a King. Verses 4 & 5 say, "it is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted." This mother is not saying to her son that drinking is bad. What she is suggesting is that as a King it is better to rule with a clear mind. Verses 8 and 9 read like this, "Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Here she is telling him to speak for the people that don't have a voice, stand up for the ones that don't have the means. We can see in these first few verses, of Proverbs 31, that these are instructions for a young man on how to live his life free from adulterous activities and this includes such things as pornography and other acts of loose living. “Being sober of mind” is not only talking about having a clear mind to reason and make decisions with but to “rule with a sober mind” will also keep you from all sorts of debauchery from poor judgement. As we move on through Proverbs 31 and get to the end of the chapter in verses 28, 29, & 30 where there are instructions for a man/husband explaining that he should praise his wife exalting her above other women. Let her know that she has done well; and in his eyes is above and beyond all other women. We see, in verse 30, that her true beauty comes from her love of the Lord and how she serves Him. After examining these verses; the instruction for the young man from his mother, and the explanation for the husband who should be praising his wife for her life and dedication to her family, I began to ask myself am I a Proverbs 31 man? Is it unfair for us as guys to set such high expectations on single Christian women and our wives to live up to what this woman has lived throughout her life. Obviously by reading the Scriptures we see that she is not a single woman but is in her later years of life as her husband is an elder of the community. So in reality the single Christian man should pray for a woman/wife who desires to walk the journey to become a Proverbs 31 woman. The husband should pray that he can be the man his wife needs to feel free to walk this road to be the wife/woman she knows in her heart she desires to be. I hope and pray that this question will be one that men will ponder and ask themselves, “Am I a Proverbs 31 man? Do you live up to the qualifications that a man should live up to who has a wife with a desire to live a life of this standard?